you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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