She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
