everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
