I heard we made out
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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