This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
