susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
