oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
