i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
