Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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