you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
