So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
