Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
