Nicole vs. Life
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
