Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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