We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you win again, gameday.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
