I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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