We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The adults are the big ones right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
