Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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