I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
