yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
