so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
