Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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