Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
