Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
