I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
