My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
