what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
