He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
