We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
