you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
