There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
