he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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