whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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