I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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