We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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