She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
