$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
