YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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