At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She needs sedatives and a leash
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
