RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
