it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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