now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
