So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
