I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
