Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
