Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
