You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
