I wish you could order shots online.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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