I love black thongs
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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