we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
