Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
