i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
