I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
