You can't special order awesome
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
